newmoonstar: (Barbara does not like Daleks!)
[personal profile] newmoonstar
Ugh, life. As if trying to write isn't hard enough in itself, I just found out someone had gotten hold of my credit card number and was making hundreds of dollars worth of charges. Luckily it was only for a week, but um... oh my god. Now I have to wait for a new card and my card company said the fraudulent charges will be removed immediately, but is it ever that easy? And who knows what else someone might be doing with the rest of my personal info, which they clearly must have if they were using my account online. 9_9

So that's more for me to worry about, as if I didn't already want to beat my head against a brick wall over finishing this play. I'm reasonably close to being done, and I know exactly what needs to happen, it's just that the minute I sit down to do it, my brain rebels and starts going:'Omigod words! Words are too hard! Me no can think thoughts today!' (Half the play is set in the 18th century, so actual historical knowledge is required, which makes it worse.) I think maybe half the problem might also be just me being scared of this being 'it', like actually doing something I've wanted to do my whole life and will it be good enough, will it mean I'm a grown-up, will I feel different, or will it change nothing and I'll be the exact same person and what was it all for? I don't know what's weirder/scarier, but damn, I'd like to at least find out!

And I have to deny myself Classic Who until I finish, which is killing me, because I need Classic Who with a fiery passion that burns brighter than a million suns. But that's why I have to keep away, because Doctor Who hijacks your brain to the point where you can't think of anything else, and I need to use my brain and think of things when I write!

So I just keep telling myself I'm almost there. And the thought of finally having an actual work of fiction in my hands, instead of wistful thoughts of 'if only', is so incredible & exciting. ♥ (Almost as exciting as the fact that I'm going to let myself watch 'The Keys of Marinus' for the first time when I'm done! Seriously, I'm warning everyone, Classic Who will own your soul if you get into it. I've had this play in the back of my mind for more than a decade, and I'm finally realizing my dream and getting it out on a page, and I've put more of my heart into it than I thought I would, and it's the most amazing feeling. But 40% of the time when I sit down to write it, I can't, because my mind is too full of the latest Doctor Who crap I've watched or read. No one warns you when you start Classic Who, no one! The DVDs should come with a warning label: ALL YOUR MOST CHERISHED DREAMS WILL SEEM DIM AND INSIGNIFICANT IN THE FACE OF YOUR ALMIGHTY ADDICTION TO WHO. YOU ARE THE DOCTOR'S BITCH FROM NOW ON. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 (OR YOUR LIFE) EVER AGAIN. SURRENDER AND LOVE IT.)

So there I am. Stressed, but trying. I really should get some sleep now, but tomorrow, onward and upward! (I hope!) ;D

Date: 2014-07-02 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] empressith.livejournal.com
The Keys of Marinus is a fun one. I'm sorry to hear about your card, what a pain in the neck. Good luck. I hope your credit card company doesn't give you a hard time.

Date: 2014-07-04 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] empressith.livejournal.com
I admit, I cried when we lost Barbara and Ian...

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