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newmoonstarOkay, I know I'm a few years late, but I finally listened to the cast recording of Love Never Dies, the infamous Phantom of the Opera sequel. I remember back before it opened I'd seen Sierra Boggess sing the title song on some TV show, and I remember being seriously unimpressed, and once the production actually appeared, the word among Phantom fans was that it was terrible and to be avoided at all costs, so I shrugged and didn't give it a second thought. Until this January, when the 25th anniversary staging of PotO aired on PBS. Once I learned that the leads had also been in Love Never Dies, the curiosity was too strong! I knew it would be a train wreck, but like all good train wrecks, as much as you don't wanna look, you just HAVE TO!
So, firstly: they should have just called it Crack Never Dies, since this was without doubt the most crackified thing I've ever heard as far as cast recordings go. All the characters you loved from PotO, now ten years later, at a Coney Island amusement park(!) owned by the Phantom(!) all fighting & bitching at eachother. Yeah, that's the plot in a nutshell, not exactly a recipe for brilliance! But I listened to the first act one night and the second the next night, and I have to say that after the first act, I was actually not totally hating it. Don't get me wrong, it was bad, but it actually wasn't as bad as I feared, and there were some truly gorgeous melodies in that score. I groaned thru BitchyDrunk!Raoul and BitchyGroupie!Madame Giry, and I think I screamed "ewwww! Oh nonono ewww!!" all thru "Beaneath a Moonless Sky", and rolled my eyes before collapsing into a giggle fit over "The Beauty Underneath". BUT - Ramin Karimloo has a wonderful voice and makes a really good Phantom, despite the fact that he is WAY TOO YOUNG. That was my number one reaction to him in the Albert Hall production: He's really good, but WAY too young. (But still really good!) So, considering he's too young for the role in the original story, casting him the sequel, set a decade later, makes no sense whatsoever.
But that's the least of this show's problems. I knew act 2 would probably be where the crazy train picked up speed, and I was right. Raoul and the Phantom arguing in a bar and making a bet over who Christine would choose was the least insane thing that happened in the second act. Apparently, the Phantom has mellowed, and Meg Giry is the crazed killer. Yeah, you heard that right. I wish to heaven there had been a damn synopsis with the CD, because the last track had me saying "Wait- WHAT just happened?!" every other second. I still can't make head nor tail of it, except that Meg apparently shot lots of people, and killed Christine. I have no idea how that happened or how it ended. There was no more dialog after Christine died, not another song, nothing. There was just some melancholy orchestral music, and that was it. Did the show end that way? Was there more? Seriously, I have NO IDEA. And I can tell you now, if that was the end, then that's the worst thing about the show. No wonder people hated it if it didn't even have a proper ending! You feel like, "Dude, I've boarded your crazy train, now at least take me to the final stop! Don't just leave me hanging here!" I swear this is going to gnaw at me forever wondering about this. I've gotta find a libretto somewhere! OMG I still can't even process it!
Bottom line is: It was bad, but there were a few good things about it. I just wish the good songs hadn't been wasted on such mess a this, they could have made a good show somewhere else. And Ramin and Sierra did their best with bad material and I salute their courage in actually making a go in such a horrible production. I feel kind of sorry for them now, since I literally laughed out loud when the Phantom shouted "Put down the gun, Meg!" because how can you not? I mean, seriously, that has got to be the funniest line in any musical ever, but that's mostly because IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. But at least they got to be in the 25th anniversary staging of the real PotO, so I feel better knowing they've been properly rewarded with a production worthy of their talent.
I'm sure I'm going to wake up tomorrow and think Love Never Dies was just some really weird dream I had, but even when I realize to my horror that it was actually a real thing, I'll just go back to my double disc original London cast recording of The Phantom of the Opera, and nothing will have changed, it'll be as beautiful and timeless and perfect as ever. So really, no matter how bad LND is, it can never take away from PotO. And that's what matters!
So, firstly: they should have just called it Crack Never Dies, since this was without doubt the most crackified thing I've ever heard as far as cast recordings go. All the characters you loved from PotO, now ten years later, at a Coney Island amusement park(!) owned by the Phantom(!) all fighting & bitching at eachother. Yeah, that's the plot in a nutshell, not exactly a recipe for brilliance! But I listened to the first act one night and the second the next night, and I have to say that after the first act, I was actually not totally hating it. Don't get me wrong, it was bad, but it actually wasn't as bad as I feared, and there were some truly gorgeous melodies in that score. I groaned thru BitchyDrunk!Raoul and BitchyGroupie!Madame Giry, and I think I screamed "ewwww! Oh nonono ewww!!" all thru "Beaneath a Moonless Sky", and rolled my eyes before collapsing into a giggle fit over "The Beauty Underneath". BUT - Ramin Karimloo has a wonderful voice and makes a really good Phantom, despite the fact that he is WAY TOO YOUNG. That was my number one reaction to him in the Albert Hall production: He's really good, but WAY too young. (But still really good!) So, considering he's too young for the role in the original story, casting him the sequel, set a decade later, makes no sense whatsoever.
But that's the least of this show's problems. I knew act 2 would probably be where the crazy train picked up speed, and I was right. Raoul and the Phantom arguing in a bar and making a bet over who Christine would choose was the least insane thing that happened in the second act. Apparently, the Phantom has mellowed, and Meg Giry is the crazed killer. Yeah, you heard that right. I wish to heaven there had been a damn synopsis with the CD, because the last track had me saying "Wait- WHAT just happened?!" every other second. I still can't make head nor tail of it, except that Meg apparently shot lots of people, and killed Christine. I have no idea how that happened or how it ended. There was no more dialog after Christine died, not another song, nothing. There was just some melancholy orchestral music, and that was it. Did the show end that way? Was there more? Seriously, I have NO IDEA. And I can tell you now, if that was the end, then that's the worst thing about the show. No wonder people hated it if it didn't even have a proper ending! You feel like, "Dude, I've boarded your crazy train, now at least take me to the final stop! Don't just leave me hanging here!" I swear this is going to gnaw at me forever wondering about this. I've gotta find a libretto somewhere! OMG I still can't even process it!
Bottom line is: It was bad, but there were a few good things about it. I just wish the good songs hadn't been wasted on such mess a this, they could have made a good show somewhere else. And Ramin and Sierra did their best with bad material and I salute their courage in actually making a go in such a horrible production. I feel kind of sorry for them now, since I literally laughed out loud when the Phantom shouted "Put down the gun, Meg!" because how can you not? I mean, seriously, that has got to be the funniest line in any musical ever, but that's mostly because IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. But at least they got to be in the 25th anniversary staging of the real PotO, so I feel better knowing they've been properly rewarded with a production worthy of their talent.
I'm sure I'm going to wake up tomorrow and think Love Never Dies was just some really weird dream I had, but even when I realize to my horror that it was actually a real thing, I'll just go back to my double disc original London cast recording of The Phantom of the Opera, and nothing will have changed, it'll be as beautiful and timeless and perfect as ever. So really, no matter how bad LND is, it can never take away from PotO. And that's what matters!
